Malfoy Madness
by Librarybeauty
Summary: Hermione argues with Draco over genes,Barney and evilness. Volume one of a series. Oneshot. DMHG. please review. "You said Barney was a dinasoar, so I thought there'd be blood and crashing buildings...not love, peace and happiness!"-Draco to Mione.


Author's note: My first fanfiction, so please give me some credit because I'm not that good at my grammar

Author's note: My first fanfiction, so please give me some credit because I'm not that good at my grammar. I try to do my best but even the greatest author's can mess up. Please leave me reviews and comments of what you think of it.

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the magic I just borrow it from time to time.

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-**"I wish I liked anything as much as my kids like bubbles." –knocked up.**

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The young and beautiful brunette stares out at the snow that is captivating and taking up residence on the long spacious garden. It may be frosty cold outside but everything inside is warm and pleasant. The fire that is lit in the sitting room blazes and makes her hazel honey eyes glow in the aerie darkness of the ancient but elegant room. She sits comfortably holding a slumbering toddler.

His dress shirt untucked from his small trousers and his little green tie loose around his neck. His face leans against his mother's chest as she strokes her delicate hands and manicured fingertips through his silky hair. He looks just like his father and as she hears him stir she looks from the window down to her son. He opens his grey eyes and looks up at his mother, his hands reach for her diamond necklace and he finds great enjoyment seeing his mother giggle. Her scarlet lips and delicate smile finally let out a sound, "Well look who woke up."

The toddler laughs, and his innocent laughs fill the deep and spacious halls, corridors and room around them. She puts her water down and he cuddles closer to her, his mother's touch makes him feel even warmer. Little Maximus Malfoy, the heir and one of the most spoiled children ever born…even though his mother tries to make him not so. "I think it's time you went to sleep." She says holding him close to her.

He moans in protest, "Mummy, I'm not weven sweepy." She gets up from the leather sofa with him already rubbing his eyes and taking rest and support on her shoulder and holding unto her neck. His little Scottish terrier rises from the spot in front of the fire next to the larger champion purebred German Shepards to follow his little master and the master's mother to the nursery.

Hermione looks down, "Come on, Ducky." The black dog follows and his collar clicks and clangs like a bell throughout the large walls making echoes. He follows climbing over children's broomstick toys and wizard's toys. Among others are some muggle toys that were their because his mother required him to have a bit from the other world and some his grandparents bought him.

The dog moves his small legs to catch up to the Brunette's red high-hills and evening dress. Soon after a few flights of stairs two double doors are opened to expose the nursery. It's nighttime so the ceiling is enchanted to show millions of glowing stars and the walls are a dark navy blue with Gold stripes. His bed is large for a toddler, but for a small prince as he is treated it is not. His mother's wand magically gets him into his pajamas and he does a little tumble and dives straight into his bed with a bit of laughter. His mother tucks him into the dark blue Egyptian sheets and kisses his forehead, "Good night."

He looks around and watches as Ducky comes jumping onto the bed and lies down next to him. Hermione smiles down at the view and pats the dogs head, "Good boy." Her son yawns which causes her to yawn, "You're making me sleepy to."

The boy giggles and says with his fingers in his mouth, "I'm not sweepy." She watches his eyes close from exhaustion and even though he may not think the same…he really is tired.

She gets up and begins to walk away when her son calls out to her, "Mummy?" She turns around, "Yes?"

His eyes open momentarily and then he says in a mumble, "I want a wittle brwother. I forgot to ask one for chwistmas…do you think that I can still get it tomorrow."

She keeps herself from giggling, "Maybe…now go to sleep."

He protests from his mother's reply, still holding onto the little ounce of energy he has left to argue, "But…where do they come from? Because we can jwust buy one. Right you and daddy can get me a wittle brother?"

Hermione takes a deep breath, "Like I said…maybe now go to sleep or you won't get anything." She says calmly and sweetly and watches her son's face squirm.

"But…mummy I have so many toys and I want to share them with a brother." She loves the innocence in her son's words but knows that if they did have another child he would not share anything…ever.

"Go to sleep." She giggles touching his nose with her index finger. He closes his eyes and then as she walks towards the door she hears him mumble, "Ill ask Grandmere Cissy and Grandpa Lucius." She turns around to protest but he had already fallen asleep. She shakes her head and walks out of the nursery. As she walks down the hall to the master bedroom and slowly closes the doors behind her. Her black cat Lady Love, has already found peace and quiet from her husband's dogs on her sitting room chair in front of the smaller yet just as inviting fire. Pictures of their wedding, some baby pictures of Max and many of him throughout the past four years of his life are placed like antiques among the mantel. Even muggle pictures are framed of Max and Hermione's parents. She slips off her heels and takes a sigh of relief as her pedicured feet gasp for air and she can finally wiggle her toes. She finds herself staring out through the French doors of the chamber's sitting room French doors at the pure white snow. Her mind is going a million miles a minute…thinking about many different things. Her deep concentrating is disrupted from her husband's lips on her neck. She jumps at first but warms up against him and melts as his arms come around her. "Sorry…" He kisses her neck. "About." He moves up to nibble on her ear, "The meeting."

She finally lets out a giggle and pushes him off softly, "its fine, and Max is in bed and is anxious to get up tomorrow to see Christmas."

Her mind still in tangles and her smile disappears into a stern thinking position. The tall and strong blonde man looked at his wife, "What's got my mudblood in a knot?"

She narrows her eyes playfully and then walks towards the bedroom, "If you keep calling me mudblood our son will just add it to his already colorful vocabulary."

Draco Malfoy follows his wife into the bedroom his face into a smirk of enjoyment as his wife starts to carry on about how she wants her son to treat muggle and wizards equally and that if he keeps going back to his pride her son will be more of a mean and spoiled kid.

Draco stops her there, "Max isn't bossy…he just has better ideas then the other kids."

He says and watches Hermione stop and turn around, "Oh really, so when he punched Keenan Geoffrey the other day, he just had better ideas?"

He shakes his head, "No he just takes after his mother." Hermione huffs and folds her arms and then walks again towards the huge closet to change into some sleeping robes.

He watches her take off her clothes and put on a silk nightgown that went right above her knee and put her hair down, "You think you're so funny."

He nods and leans against the closet's door frame as his wife fumes. "Yes, I do."

The beautiful curls fall into her red fuming rosy face. In her husband's eyes she looks drop dead gorgeous and cute as hell as she gets angry. She passes by him still fuming and murmuring little snide comments that she didn't mean but out of anger started spitting out. "I should have married Ronald Weasley or Dean Thomas."

He grabs his wife and stares smirking with raised eyebrows, "I'm a better kisser then them." She rolls her eyes and says, "Whatever." He kisses her and as she tries to pull away he holds her closed in his embrace. He starts to tickle her and cause her tight attitude to shake away and deteriorate.

She finally lets him kiss her and laughs, "Fine! Now get away from me!" He lets go and watches her tumble a bit and grab the wall in giggles. She sticks her tongue out at him and watches him start to fake cry and look like a grown up child.

She looks at him like he is crazy. His fake crying and tantrum turns into fits of laughter, "See I told you he gets it from his mother!"

She goes back to angry and grabs a pillow off the huge bed and throws it at him. He catches it and throws it back on the bed. He decides now would be a good time to change the subject, "So Christmas is tomorrow…are you going to make me watch Barney's Christmas special again?"

Hermione puts her hands on her hips, "I told you to pick a muggle cartoon or show that you didn't mind him watching…he can't just watch Wizard's children programs."

He looks back at her, "You said Barney was a dinosaur so I thought I could watch it all the way through and there'd be blood and buildings being destroyed….not love, peace and happiness." Hermione's stern face turns into a laugh, "Then watch Dora the explorer."

He shakes his head, "She is way more annoying…and if you haven't noticed our son thinks sniper the fox is cool."

She giggles and says, "The evilness he gets from you!"

Now Draco folds his arms but not denying it. He changes the subject, "I forgot to tell you what Max wanted for Christmas. He told me when we were at honeydukes."

Hermione in her mind, thinks he has everything he could ever want or need neatly wrapped downstairs underneath the large decorated tree. "What's that?"

Draco smiles, "A brother." Hermione goes back to when she was putting him to bed and turns a shade of pink, "I know."

Draco takes a deep breath and walks into the bathroom, "Aren't you worried he will be upset when he wakes up tomorrow and there's no baby brother waiting for him?"

She replies from inside the bedroom, "Nope…I'm more worried about telling him it won't come for nine months and how it got there." She smiles and hears complete silence…Draco walks back in with a stunned face. He stares at her and blinks, eyebrows still raised.

She laughs and says watching her husband think about what just occurred and that he is going to be a father to another child.

She slips underneath the covers and says, "Oh Draco, I hope it's a girl…because I'm tired of being the only woman in the manor besides you and our son who has inherited your meanness and evilness."

She won fair and square, this argument probably would have gone on for days if it wasn't for Draco being shocked that she dropped this on him right then. He couldn't reply just a small smile and then he said, "Oh so a girl can inherit your smart ass attitude and snarkiness?"

She sits up and instead of arguing she just laid back and said, "Yeah, that's right." He joked and fell next to her onto the bed sarcasm dripped from his lips, "Their teenage years are going to be fantastic!"

Her laughter filled the room and he watched his wife kiss his head, "I love you." He looks up and says, "Love you too." Then as the lights turn out he mumbles. "I love you crazy bitch…a pain in me hole!"

She says, "Oh, so now you're going to teach our maybe-daughter some colorful words? You know doctors say the baby can hear everything even when it's inside a mother's stomach."

He huffs and puts his hand over her already moving and ranting mouth, "I hope our daughter does not inherit your mouth."

Hermione goes to say something snaky back but ends up with Draco's lips pressed against hers, he released them to see her panting for breath, "Go to sleep woman." Sometimes even Hermione Granger-Malfoy the bookworm from Gryffindor needed someone to shut her up. That someone was Draco Malfoy.

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Author's note: That's it…like it? Hate it? Please review! Thank you for reading. Remember I'm not good with the spelling but I tried the best I could. My first fanfiction is now complete. -Ebony


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